


Cinco De UhOh

by ChompJames



Series: Holiday Curse [6]
Category: Wynonna Earp - Fandom
Genre: Accidents, Casual Injury, Clumsy Waverly, F/F, Fluff, Saint Nicole, Wayhaught - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:54:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24029203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChompJames/pseuds/ChompJames
Summary: Nicole and Waverly go house hunting and then celebrate a Cinco De Mayo with Wynonna. Nothing too crazy could happen...right?
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Wynonna Earp, Wynonna Earp/Nicole Haught
Series: Holiday Curse [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633618
Comments: 14
Kudos: 112





	Cinco De UhOh

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this one shot!

“ _Babe_!”  Nicole groaned as she slid the glass door open. She had  _just_ stepped onto her back deck for a quick second, leaving the door open, before smashing face first into it while not paying attention on the way back in.

Rubbing her forehead she looked up as Waverly, dressed only in a large t-shirt, walks into the room. “Yeah?”

Any tension Nicole had melted off right away at the sight of her girlfriends bed head and bright smile. “Did you close the door?” 

Waverly nodded. “Yep. Didn’t want any bugs getting in. Why did you want to keep it open?”

“No.” Nicole sighed. “I was out there. Didn’t realize you closed it and banged my head on the glass.” 

Waverly skipped towards her with a ‘tsk’ and a wag of her finger. “My injury prone queen.” 

Going cross eyed as Waverly booped her on the nose she couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “I didn’t exactly expect the door to close within seconds of me stepping out.” 

“Well my love.” Waverly said with a smile as she wrapped her hands around Nicole’s neck. “If you want to sell your house it has to be bug free for the viewings. Unless you don’t want to move in or something.” 

Nicole felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of moving in with Waverly. She wanted it more than anything. Honestly she wanted it more than owning her own rock climbing gym and she had wanted that  _a lot_.  Funny what love can do for you, how it can make you think about things on a deeper level. 

“More than anything Waves.” Nicole breathed out. “I thought when I was younger that there was  _nothing_ I wanted more than to own my own gym, be my own boss and be able to travel the world. I’d give it up in a snap of my fingers for you. Like Thanos except in a good way.” 

Nicole watched as Waverly simultaneously clenched her jaw and bit the inside of her cheeks, a usual sign that Waverly  _still_ couldn’t believe that someone could care about her in such a way, it was both adorable and a little heartbreaking. 

“Yeah?” Waverly hesitantly asked. “Cause you can back out if it’s too early.” 

Nicole knew Waverly’s slight insecurities weren’t her fault. Jaded relationships had done a number on Waverly’s self worth. It was her job however to show and tell Waverly how much she appreciated her. “You may not be perfect Waverly Earp but  you are _perfect for me_.  As cliche as soulmates may sound I truly believe you are mine.” 

Figuring she must have said something  _right_ by the way Waverly tipped her head up to engulf her lips with her own. Waverly was never the best with words but her actions  _always_ showed Nicole what she was thinking. Even with morning breath and lips gliding messily Nicole knew,  _without a single doubt_ ,  that she would never tire of kissing Waverly. 

The way Waverly’s delicate fingers made unrecognizable patterns at the base of her neck or when they slowly made their way down to her collarbone, tapping out a rhythm similar to a heartbeat. “I was going to just make some instant oatmeal but you deserve a elegant breakfast.” 

Chuckling, Nicole places a kiss on Waverly’s forehead, “I don’t say these things for perks baby. I say them because I mean them.” 

Humming Waverly untangles herself from Nicole. “I know. Which makes you deserve it even more.” 

Couldn’t argue with that logic really. 

Watching as Waverly sauntered her way back into the kitchen Nicole couldn’t help but watch the way her hips swayed. She always felt as if she were in a trance when watching Waverly. It was hard to focus sometimes with her girlfriends legs on display  _like_ that. 

“Need any help?” Nicole called out wiping the tiniest bit of drool off her chin.

A loud clattering indicated that maybe Waverly did need her help as Nicole walked into her kitchen. “Sorry, the bowls were stuck together grab me two please?” 

Bending over Nicole grabs two stainless steel bowls, only to be stopped on her way up. By the silverware drawer scraping down her back. “Oh what the shit.” 

Hand instantly going to where the pain was radiating from she could already feel a deep scratch and a tiny bit of blood. It was the white hot pain though that was the most aggravating. The kind of pain that you feel like you need to jump around or run it off even though that literally does nothing for it. Either way Nicole jumped up and down anyway to make her mind believe it was helping. 

“Babe?” Nicole sighed. “If you want me to do something it would be easier if you didn’t open drawers right above me. This smarts like a son of a bitch.”

Waverly’s eyes drifted to the floor which Nicole hated. She didn’t want her to be self conscious or be down on herself. “It’s okay though. It’s just a tiny flesh wound. Not even bleeding much. See?”

Nicole turns and lifts her shirt so Waverly can access the damage. Relishing in the soft kiss Waverly leaves on the swollen and scratched area. As much as Waverly was chaotic and unpredictable around the holidays she sure did try to make up for them. 

Feeling Waverly’s slightly cold hands lightly drift around her scratch Nicole can’t help but let a small smile grace her face. For how much of a mess Waverly Earp was sometimes, Nicole was awfully glad she was her mess. 

“Sorry love. I timed that completely wrong.” Waverly apologized. “Could you possibly grab me a coffee cup though? Also, when we get our own house we are putting the cups to a place where we can  _both_ reach.”

With a nod Nicole reached above Waverly’s head, opening the cabinet door, taking down Waverly’s newest coffee cup addition. A wide blue cup, with the face of a unicorn, and a rainbow colored horn. It wasn’t the most practical cup but it was quite adorable. 

Putting the cup on the chipped countertop, Nicole slams her hand down beside the cup  _violently_ ,  as she feels a cabinet door open hard against her shin. A throbbing and gnawing pain radiating from her shin bone to the skin. She didn’t have to feel it to know a knot was already forming. 

“Oh geeze.” Waverly whispered. “Do you need some ice?” 

What Nicole really wanted was to pick up that stupid ugly coffee cup and hurl it at the wall. 

Okay that’s not really what she wanted to do but sometimes when you’re in pain and a bit fucking tiffed it was a little cathartic to release some tension. 

“I’ll get it.” Nicole huffed as she limped to her fridge. “Then I’m going to get out of the kitchen because it seems a little too small for the both of us this morning.” 

She wasn’t mad at Waverly. She wasn’t even sure she was mad. As she grabbed a blue ice pack from her freezer, Nicole limped into the living room before collapsing into her ‘gaming’ recliner and hugging the freezing pack to her burning shin. 

She wasn’t mad. Especially at Waverly. She was more annoyed at the little instances that had already occurred this morning. Three back to back. The universe was not fucking around on Cinco De Mayo. 

Hearing the oven open and close, the sizzle of a pan start up, Nicole lifted her gaze as Waverly awkwardly lingered into the room. “Are you mad at me?”

“No baby.” Nicole chuckled lightly. “I’m not mad. It’s the tiny injuries that hurt the most sometimes, well at first anyway.” 

Waverly didn’t seem convinced and Nicole couldn’t blame her. “I’m sorry for snapping. A big kitchen is a must for the new house though.” 

A little bit of light humor and Waverly was smiling again. Which is something Nicole strived for, day in and out, to see that gorgeous smile on Waverly’s beautiful face. “C’mere.”

Arms wide open, Waverly happily accepted the offer for a cuddle. Patiently as always she allowed Waverly to sink her face into her neck.  _Vanilla dipped donuts_ Waverly had said. While she herself didn’t smell it she wasn’t about to discourage something Waverly loved to do. 

“Maybe I’m stressed about finding a house butthat’s no excuse to snap at you Waves. I’m really sorry.” Nicole said.

“It’s okay.” Waverly murmured. 

Squeezing the precious brunette between her arms, Nicole caught her eyes. “It’s not okay. You don’t deserve to be talked to like that. No matter what.” 

Feeling the vibration of Waverly’s hum Nicole proceeded to gage where the brunette stood. “Even when you’re a bit of an ass, you still treat me better than anyone else ever has.” 

That wasn’t saying much honestly. 

Plenty of people had the chance to love Waverly and all of them had either fucked her over or didn’t appreciate everything about her. Nicole was going to make sure she would not travel down that road. 

“I need to treat you better. You deserve the world Waverly Earp. Yes sometimes I’ll get frustrated or mad and lose my temper. We will fight and cry but no matter what I need to treat you like the queen you are.” Nicole stated.

Caught off guard by Waverly peppering her face with kisses Nicole let’s out a laugh. Her girlfriend was the purest thing on God’s green earth.

“I’m gonna check on breakfast. Don’t want to burn anything.” Waverly sighed. “I love you so much Nicole.” 

It was little admissions of love like that that always took Nicole’s breath away.

🍹🌮🍹🌮🍹🌮

After clearing the table and starting the dishes Waverly couldn’t help but feel a little down. She had injured Nicole in far worse ways but her Saint of a girlfriend had never reacted  _like that_ before. What if Nicole couldn’t take it anymore? It’s not like she’d even be able to blame her. 

No one wants to be hurt, whether it be serious or minor, every holiday. She was lost in her frantic sometimes overthinking mind, so lost in fact that when she felt arms wrap around her it startled her so badly she dropped the dish she happened to be cleaning at that exact time. 

Thankfully it was only a small steak knife and not the large butchers knife she had just put away. 

Unthankfully that small steak knife now was lodged in Nicole’s big toe. Sticking straight up. 

“Ooooh boy.” 

Waverly could feel the tension  _radiating_ off Nicole as if she were a volcano about to burst molten hot lava all over the house. 

This could be bad. The knife could be hitting a vein, a tendon or even the bone. Why. Why was she like this? 

Nicole’s face was scrunched up in pain and she was doing some sort of Lamaze breathing.“Baby? Are you okay? It just slipped right out. I mean you also startled me but it just slipped.” 

Like King Arthur pulling Excalibur from stone, Nicole quietly bent over and in one swift movement pulled the steak knife from her toe. With a plethora of curse words following. A small trickle of blood flowed as Nicole flexed her toes. 

“Didn’t hit anything it doesn’t seem like. Just another flesh wound.” Nicole smiled. 

Waverly wouldn’t admit to anyone  ever that watching Nicole pull that knife out of her toe was probably one of the sexiest things she had ever seen. 

“I got a call from Wynonna. She wants to hit up a Mexican restaurant tonight to celebrate Cinco De Mayo.” Nicole said as she placed a bandaid on her toe. 

How this woman could just pull a friggin knife out of her body and have a conversation like nothing had happened was beyond Waverly. 

She rolled her eyes. “Wynonna doesn’t even know what Cinco De Mayo is a celebration of. She just wants taco’s and booze.” 

“When Mexico gained their independence right?” Nicole asked. 

Sweet sweet Nicole. How wrong she was. 

“Actually...” Waverly started. “That’s what a lot of people think. However Cinco De Mayo is the celebration of Mexico defeating the French Empire at the Battle of Puebla. May 5th 1862.” 

Waverly stopped talking when she realized Nicole was just... _staring_ ...at her. “What?” 

“You’re so fucking brilliant.” 

Blushing Waverly waved her hand in dismissal. “It’s common knowledge.” 

“Can’t be that common if I didn’t know it.” Nicole countered. 

Well...the school systems really didn’t teach much about Cinco De Mayo. However when history is your favorite subject you learn a lot of things. 

“What’d you tell Wynonna?” 

Nicole rubbed her stomach. “I told her I’m always down for tacos and margaritas.” 

“But first...house hunting. We have a few to look at today so we’ve got to get a move on missy.” Waverly insisted. 

Grumbling Nicole ventured off to the bedroom, emerging mere minutes later looking like a woman on a mission. Black slacks and a maroon button up long sleeve shirt. Matching her converse with her shirt as well. 

“Well don’t you look all professional Miss Haught?” Waverly teased.

Running her fingers through her hair Nicole smiled. “Got to let them know I mean business.”

Waverly certainly wasn’t going to complain. “Okay well can I just say you look gorgeous. I’ll be back in a few.”

Waverly took her time picking out the perfect sundress. She wasn’t going for the professionalism that Nicole had, she wanted to be comfortable and feel sexy. When she felt sexy she felt confident. When she felt confident...she could accomplish anything she set her mind too. 

A pale yellow sundress that accentuated her tan quite well, her matching flip flops and accessories. Standing in front of the full length mirror Waverly approved of herself. It was time to find a house. 

Skipping her way back into the living room feeling confident and ready to show these realtors that while she may be young Waverly Earp does not take shit from anyone! 

If they lived in a cartoon Nicole’s jaw would be touching the floor when she had turned around and noticed her. “Careful Nicole, you’ll swallow a bug if you keep your mouth hanging wide open.” 

With that, Waverly left Nicole in her metaphorical like dust as she exited the house waiting for their exciting day to actually start. 

🌯🍾🌯🍾🌯🍾

Nicole groaned loudly once the realtor had left the two of them to talk in private. The house was a fixer upper for sure and Nicole wasn’t quite sure she was up for the task of actually fixing it. 

Waverly traced a line across Nicole’s hips though. “I can’t even think straight with the thought of you in dirty jeans, a tank top, and a tool belt.” 

The girl knew how to convince. 

“Wouldn’t you rather have a house that’s already done? We could move in quickly? I don’t think I have the time to do all the work it’ll need Waves.” Nicole argued.

That part was very true. The gym was busier than ever and she’d much rather come home to a fully finished house than have to come home and start another job. 

Waverly pouted. “You’re right. Promise me though that you’ll at least wear a tool belt for me at some point.”

That would be an easy promise to make. 

“Sure thing toots.” Nicole smirked landing a soft pat to Waverly’s ass.

After a short conversation with the realtor they were off to another house. Nicole could tell Waverly was going to like it the second they pulled into the driveway. There was a small creek lining up the gravel driveway with an abundance of vibrant flowers. 

No front porch though. 

_Maybe_ if they liked this house Nicole could take on the task of building a front porch.  _Maybe_. 

Nicole watched as Waverly scurried out of the realtors backseat with a childlike excitability. Either too excited or not thinking as Nicole felt the car door slam into her knee cap as she tried to follow her out. Either way it stung like a angry hornets nest had made their home around her kneecap. 

“Did the door hit you?” Waverly yelped.

Trying to not cry out in pain all Nicole could do was nod. The excited scream from Waverly was however not expected. 

“This must be the house then! You didn’t get hurt at the other one. Maybe it’s like a thing. I don’t know what I’m saying but so far...I am  _loving_ this house.” Waverly screeched as she patted Nicole’s already bruising knee. 

**Yippee**...

The house was gorgeous. Two story farm style with a few acres to its name. “Wrap around porch Nicole. I  **NEED** a wrap around porch! And rocking chairs! Those cute little rocking chairs we always see out at Lowe’s. They would look adorable on my wrap around porch.” Waverly squealed. “Oh My God babe...a fire pit. We NEED a fire pit.” 

Nicole was pretty sure they were going to be buying this house before they even stepped foot inside with the way Waverly was running around. It was adorable though, her little country bumpkin.

She could imagine Waverly wrapped in a blanket  _or_ two, naked underneath, sitting on a white rocking chair with a steaming cup of tea in the morning as they watch the sunrise together. Maybe get a dog or two. 

She could see them spending the rest of their lives there already. 

She was so in love it was ridiculous.

“Feel free to go inside and look around.” 

The realtor unlocked the house and Nicole watched as Waverly almost tackles the poor lady to get inside. It must be all adorable and quaint with the squeal Waverly let out. 

Eyeing the dingy half assed front steps she shakes her head at the fact that who ever had owned the house beforehand didn’t take the great opportunity to have an actual porch. 

Strange people. 

The foyer was spacious. Beautiful hardwood stairs off to the left. “Baby?” 

Waverly practically ran back into the foyer grabbing Nicole’s arm and they were off. 

Joy radiated out of Nicole as she watched Waverly’s face light up in happiness. “There’s even a mud room. We can put the washer and dryer there and when we get a dog that’s where we can towel them off in.” 

All of a sudden they were getting a dog.

“Slow down baby. We have a few more houses to look at.” Nicole chuckled.

Suddenly they stopped. The force of Waverly running ending. “This is the one. Don’t you feel it?” 

Nicole looked around. Realizing they were in the kitchen, it was pretty massive. She did feel  _something_ incredible just being here. “You’re right. This is it.”

As they continued to tour the house, the master bedroom having plenty of room for special  _activities_ ,  they sat at the kitchen table with the realtor. “We will take it.” 

The realtor couldn’t have smiled larger if she tried. “The asking price is three hundred thousand. We can start with a offer of two hundred and fifty thousand and see what they say.” 

With an agreement on the table it was time to go. Nicole held Waverly’s hand as they walked out of the house, Waverly walking down the steps first. Waverly’s excitement was evident as she pulled Nicole hard on the porch. As soon as Nicole stepped foot on the  porch it  creaked  in a way that did _not_ sound good. 

Nicole’s foot fell right through a rotting board, her momentum flinging her forward, chest landing hard against dirty rotting wood. “ _Ugh_ _what the fuck.”_

“Oh my god. Are you okay?” The realtor asked. 

The poor lady was trying her best to act concerned but Nicole had a feeling she just didn’t want to get sued or the home owners to be sued as well. 

Laying her forehead on the grayish looking board, Nicole huffed, watching dirt and grime blow around her. “Offer two hundred thousand and tell them I won’t sue.” 

Freeing her long leg from the death trap Nicole glared as Waverly tried to stifle her laughter. Nicole was sure the porch would have held up if Waverly hadn’t of pulled her so hard. 

Looking down at her torn slacks Nicole could already feel the shaved skin and a trickle of blood running down the back of her leg. 

“My poor poor baby.” Waverly chuckled. “So clumsy.” 

Taking the smaller hand in her own, Nicole accepted the offer of help down off the cursed porch. “If you hadnt of pulled me, it wouldn’t have broken. I’m sure of that.” 

Waverly shook her head and Nicole rolled her eyes. “You’re the clumsy one and you know it.” 

Laughing Waverly grabbed Nicole’s face in between her hands, one hand slowly sliding to its designated home of behind her neck. “You’re just accident prone baby.” 

Before a witty response could leave her mouth, her lips were too busy being captured by her girlfriends. Peppermint chapstick. Her favorite.

Groaning as Waverly nipped her bottom lip seeking entrance, there was a cough behind them. 

“Hmm. Sorry but we should get going. I’ll put the offer in and you should know soon!” 

Nicole smiled against soft lips. “Sounds good.” She mumbled softly, her lips moving against Waverly’s with every word. 

They made their way to the realtors car, Waverly settling herself into the backseat as Nicole waited. Always patient. 

“I think I have splinters on my calf.” Nicole groaned as she sat down. “ _Stupid porch_. ”

💞💞💞💞💞💞

They had agreed to meet Wynonna at the Mexican restaurant at six but Waverly didn’t realize quite how long it would take to pull out every splinter in Nicole’s leg. There were a lot. 

Probably twenty. 

Some were super small and Nicole would punch the tub when Waverly missed the splinter with her tweezers, catching innocent skin instead. 

Instead there was a incessant knocking on the door as she tried to capture this one last splinter. “ _Jesus_ .  **HOLD ON** **.** _Christ_.” Waverly yelled out for no reason. 

They were way too far from the front door for anyone to actually hear her. “Hold still Nicole.”

“I’m trying! It’s really hard when my skin is being used like an allergy test.” Nicole snapped back.

“ **_Heyo lame-o’s_** ”

The booming voice startled Waverly as she crashed her tweezers hard into Nicole’s quad. She knew if she let the tweezers go they would stand upright on their own. Instead she pulled them out. Quickly and roughly. 

“ _Son of a bitch. Wynonna what the hell, dude_?”  Nicole cried out. 

Yes. Blame Wynonna and don’t blame me for stabbing you.

“Baby. Please. For the love of all of nature and energy and whatever else, please...please... _be careful_.”  Nicole softly said. 

It wasn’t her fault really. This last splinter was almost transparent. So thin and almost see through. If she could just grab it...

“Ah HAH!” Waverly yelled as she pulled the stupid splinter out. “Last one baby. Now go get dressed.” 

Waverly was rewarded with a small kiss to the top of her head as Nicole squeezed past Wynonna out of the bathroom door. 

“Look what I got us!!” Wynonna smiled holding up a poncho scarf with a shot glass strung across. “Also...sombreros!!” 

No. Nope. Not even. “Not a chance in hell Wy.” 

Wynonna pouted. “Why not? It’ll make tequila shots so much easier!” 

“It’s not appropriate.”

Wynonna pulled a bottle of tequila seemingly out of nowhere as Waverly heard Nicole talking faintly in her bedroom. 

“Waves? They countered with 225K. What do you think?” Nicole asked as she appeared in the bathroom doorway. 

Waverly wanted it. She needed it. That was her dream house. “Yes.” 

There was no hesitation or question about it. That was their house.

The smile that appeared on Nicole’s face took Waverly’s breath away. “We’ll take it.” 

As Nicole finished the conversation Waverly couldn’t contain her excitement, swiping the bottle of tequila from her sister and taking a hearty gulp. The peppery fire liquid coating her throat as she nearly choked at the unexpected spiciness. Whiskey was more her style usually. 

“We got the house.” Nicole yelled from the living room.

Waverly ran out of the bathroom, stumbling on the rug she just  _had to_ have , watching Nicole’s face contort through several emotions as Nicole braced herself to catch her. 

As always Nicole was there for her. Always. Waverly felt Nicole’s body tense up as they slammed into the wall. Well, when Nicole slammed into the wall anyway. “Ah. Ow.”

Looking over Nicole’s shoulder Waverly furrowed her brows as she noticed Nicole’s shirt caught up on the lone screw in the wall. “Screw pinching your skin?” 

“A bit.” Nicole smiled that cute dimples lopsided smile. “Nothing serious though. Are we ready to go?” 

Wynonna’s loud voice shook them from their thoughts. “Dinner and drinks on me tonight. Congratulations on finding a house!” 

An hour later and way too many one dollar margaritas, Wynonna was bouncing in her seat like a child who had one two many candy canes on Christmas. 

“What is it?” Waverly asked slowly. And maybe with a little slur to her words. 

She felt warm was as Nicole’s hand slowly rubbed her thighs...up and down. Nicole was always extra frisky when she was drinking, which made drunken sex fucking  _incredible_ . 

“I’m waiting...” Wynonna replied.

“For wha?” Nicole sloppily asked with a grin. 

Before Wynonna could answer a waitress interrupted them setting down a large plates of nachos. “From the lady at the next table over.”

All three women looked as Shae waved before biting into a chip of her own. They had hung out a few times since meeting and Shae had met a woman a few days beforehand. “Awww she’s so sweet.”

Waverly waved back before eying a chip with a huge fresh jalepeno slice on it. Scooping it up quickly, popping the jalepeno into her mouth first, before cramming the chip into her mouth. Jalepenos were one of her favorites. Especially fresh.

“Here ya go baby.” Nicole drawled out as she handed Waverly a handful of seed filled green jalepeno slices. “Enjoy weirdo.”

Picking a few more jalepenos up squeezing gently with her fingers, Waverly pops them into her mouth before flipping her girlfriend off. “You love it.” 

“I love you.” Nicole replied. Words smooth as butter coming from those perfect plump lips.

Wynonna huffed and gagged. 

A bit of salsa landed high on Nicole’s cheek bone...right underneath her eyes. “You got something..”

Nicole grabbed her napkin, unsuccessfully wiping around the salsa, before Waverly reached out and rubbed the salsa away with her thumb. Wiping over Nicole’s eye in the process. 

“Thanks love.” Nicole smiled before rubbing at her eye. “Eye kinda burns now.”

Glancing down at her fingers Waverly gasps. Jalepeno seeds littered her fingers. She had just rubbed Nicole’s eyes. “Baby.” 

Squinting Nicole glanced at Waverly. Tears falling freely from her squinty eye. Lifting her fingers as evidence Waverly showed off her seed hands. 

Wynonna hollered. “This!! This is what I’ve been waiting for. I’ve been around you suckers for almost two hours now. It’s about time to see the holiday curse affect.” 

Throwing a napkin at her sister Waverly muttered a “not helping” as she stood up to access the damage. 

“Should probably wash your hands first.” Nicole mumbled as she gripped her napkin with force. 

Quickly she washed her hands, scrubbing underneath her nails, to rid them of any hint of jalepeno. Stopping at the bar to ask for a  _clean_ shot glass with a cup of water, no ice. 

She hurried her way back to her table finding the redhead in more pain than when she had left her. “It burns so bad.”

“Open your eye.” Waverly calmly asked. She was trying to be soothing but the redness around Nicole’s eye was a little unnerving. 

As Nicole struggled to open her eye, two hands appeared behind Nicole’s head wrenching her eye open. “Wynonna!”

Nicole hissed in pain but her eye was open so Wynonna’s inpatient kinda worked.

A seed.

_A_ _god damn seed_. 

Stuck in Nicole’s eye. Couldn’t have just been residue could it?

Filling the shot glass with water Waverly held the glass to Nicole’s eye. “Tilt your head down babe and keep your eye open.” 

Doing as she was told Nicole squirmed underneath Waverly and Wynonna’s touch. 

😫😖😫😖😫

She hated jalepenos now. Never again would she eat one she promised herself as Waverly continued to wash out her eye. 

Nicole was almost convinced it would hurt a fuck ton less if she just stabbed her eyeball out with a fork. 

After ten minutes and two glasses of water, Waverly had been able to dislodge the seed but the pain was still there. 

“Waverly? Nicole? Is everything okay?”

It was Shae. With her one eye tightly shut and the other open in a shot glass, all Nicole could do was wave at where she thought the voice was. 

She felt Waverly stiffen a bit. “Hi Shae. We’re okay...”

_Speak for yourself..._

“Haught got a jalepeno seed stuck in her eye. Got it out but it still burns like that one week where it burned every time I peed.” Wynonna supplied.

Shae laughed. “Okay...a little too much information there. I’ve got some medical eye rinse if you want?” 

“ **_PLEASE_**!”  Nicole shouted.

Anything to take away the pain. Even a fork to the eyeball. 

Waverly stepped back along with Wynonna as Shae stepped into Nicole’s blurry vision. “It’ll burn a little at first but it’ll numb and soothe it afterwards.”

Finding Waverly’s hand she squeezed as Shae dropped what felt like two drops of acid into her already burning eye. A soft blow from Shae’s lips into her eye startled her before Waverly spoke up.

“I can do that. Thank you Shae.” Waverly tried to say politely. 

She loved Waverly and even the tiniest bit of jealousy she found sexy. Even if Shae was in no way a threat. 

Seeming to understand Shae nodded. “I’ll leave this with you guys in case she needs another drop of two. But that should be enough.” 

Soft puffs of air from Waverly’s red stained lips soothed her eye as Nicole started to relax. “Thank you Shae. It feels so much better.” 

Finally some relief. She couldn’t even blame Waverly. That was a total accident. Waverly had just been trying to get salsa away from her eye. Trying to prevent something like that from happening. Her weird little girlfriend just had a unhealthy obsession with fresh jalepenos. 

It was kind of weird to have a numb eye. 

“Thank you baby.” Nicole whispered as she could feel a stray tear fall down her cheek from her numb eye. 

The blowing stopped as Waverly smiled. “Sorry baby. I’m glad it feels better though.” 

“Fuck guys...hahahaha. How. Are. You. Alive. Nicole.” Wynonna laughed. “This is great. I’m so glad I’m here for a holiday.” 

Instinctually Nicole popped Wynonna on the back of her head. “Shut up Wynonna.”

Wynonna grinned like a crazy clown. “Let’s get fucking wasted.” 

Finally Wynonna said something useful. “I am so down.” 

Two hours later with a still watery eye Nicole downed the rest of her beer. “Look. Okay. Watch. I’s a party trick.”

_One...two...three..._

* _crack_ *  The brown beer bottle smashed into pieces over her head as she grinned like a fool. “I learned it like five decades ago.”

That sounds about right. 

“Lemme try, lemme try!” Wynonna whined before gulping down three quarters of a beer. “Okay. Where do I hit?!”

Head down, Nicole pointed, as Wynonna smashed the bottle over her head. “Oh my God. Dude. That’s fucking awesome.” 

“Yeah. Thanks.” Nicole slurred. 

Out of the corner of her eye Nicole saw a green beer bottle flying at her head before everything went dark. 

“ _Shit.”_

_“Fuck.”_

_“Help me get her in the Uber Wynonna!”_

Nicole opened her eyes as she felt herself being jostled around.

_What. Had. Happened?_

“Baby?” Nicole groaned feeling herself being tossed in the backseat of a small car. “Wha’ happen?”

Waverly’s eyes widened. “I knocked you out. My beer bottle didn’t smash. You passed out and banged your forehead on the table.” 

Nicole tried to remember. She saw a green beer bottle and then darkness. She hadn’t been ready for it. Kinda makes sense.

“Shae is at the hospital. She called ahead and they’re waiting for us. You might have a concussion. You’ll def need stitches on the back of your head.” Waverly sobbed.

Shifting slightly, which hurt and was a terrible idea, Nicole tried to cuddle Waverly as the Uber took off to the hospital. “No baby. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have been doing it. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Tell your bleeding head and the knot on your forehead that.” Waverly hiccuped. “They’re gonna think I’m abusive at this point.” 

A cackle from the front seat was like another beer bottle to her head. “She’s always been so dramatic when she’s drunk. Waverly, shut up. Nicole will be alright. She’s pretty much a VIP at the hospital now.” 

It was true. 

She really should have a frequent flyer card by now. Thank god her insurance was amazing. 

As the Uber pulled up to the Emergency Room building, Nicole felt light headed as she tried to sit up.

“Stay still Nicole. They’ll help you get out.” Wynonna declared. 

For someone who drank as much as she did it always amazed Nicole how sober she acted. It was crazy. 

A few nurses and a wheelchair later, Nicole was rushed past the reception desk and she swear she heard them laugh and one of them say “I told you so!!”

She wasn’t sure though. She was probably concussed after all. 

A CT scan, that nearly had her passing out from the loud noise, later and Nicole found herself in a too bright white room as she waited for her girlfriend and Wynonna to come in. 

She could hear Waverly’s quick foot steps getting closer along with her little sniffles. “Babe..”

Red shot hazel eyes found hers and Nicole smiled. She loved that girl with every beat of her heart that she could hear through her ears at that moment. “Hi my sweet babe.” 

“You’re drunk. And concussed...probably.” Waverly half chuckled with a sob.

With a stupid shake of her head which she regretted instantly Nicole patted her bed. “You’re the best baby. It’s okay.” 

“Heyoooo...I found Dr Shae!” Wynonna sang as she entered the room with Shae.

Professionally Shae smiled. “Nicole. We’ve got you hooked up to the IV’s to sober you up. The CT scan came back clean so there’s no bleeding or sign of a concussion. You have a comically hard head.” 

Nicole smiled as she leaned in to kiss Waverly’s temple. “Told you I have a hard head.” 

“Just gonna stitch your head up and we would like to monitor you over night.” Shae declared. “Waverly is more than welcome to stay the night with you. We have hospital cots.” 

Shae got right to work. It wasn’t too many stitches. Only three. Waverly had a million questions while Wynonna got bored and left.

With all the medical mumbo jumbo being talked at her, Nicole started feeling sleepy. It was really hard to keep her eyes open. Almost as hard as it was when a jalepeno seed was in it. 

Oh yeah. 

That happened.

Two lithe hands wrapped around her neck and she opened her eyes to a literal goddess with a heave like light cascading from her. 

Waverly.

Her Waverly. 

“Stay awake Nicole.” Waverly whispered. “Just for a bit longer.”

Sighing but obeying Nicole opened her eyes further. “You stay in my bed.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” Waverly mumbled.

Giving her best puppy dog eyes, Nicole was able to convince Waverly to get into bed with her. Pulling the comforter up to both their chins. Nicole loved being this close to Waverly. She always felt like she was able to protect Waverly from everything and anything. 

“I love you.” Nicole breathed out.

Waverly cuddled further into her. “I love you too.” 

She felt Waverly picking her head up just as Nicole was bending her head down. Instant pain as Waverly’s forehead collided with the knot on her own head. 

“Thank God we are in a hospital with the good drugs.” Nicole half chuckled and groaned at the same time as she pressed the nurse button on her bed.

As a disapproving nurse walked in all Nicole could think about was that at least July Fourth was a good little bit away...

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Nicole. Will she ever catch a break or will they be forever cursed. What would you do if you were in her situation?


End file.
